green and grey, old books, axolotls, talking far too much, being loud as fuck, tea, strange earrings, getting very attached to silly little trinkets, love, live music, laughing at my own jokes a proper fuckload and making mac and cheese.
“You’re my puzzle piece.”
“You’re my keychain.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You hold all of the keys to all the things I want in life, the things that make me happy. You keep them all together, on a little ring, in the same place. A safe place.”
Anonymous asked: I think that you're really beautiful and it sucks to see you so sad.
i’ve never had an ask before. thank you for this.
i tried to talk to my dad. decided it was time and i couldn’t handle his behaviour any more. i approached nicely. he started yelling. i started yelling. he didn’t realise that i know all of the truths behind what he said about me. i’m depressed. of course i know. i analyse and chew myself up every second.
it was like talking to a wall. so much shouting. just. brick wall. brick wall. i cried so much. i cried about our lack of a relationship. i cried over how it had to reach a point where i was screaming to get my point across. i cried because i realised he doesn’t care about our relationship at all any more, and i have to take the initiative to fix it. but i can’t. i can’t do it. so many years of stepping lightly and getting yelled at for being sad will do that to a person, i think.
i told them i never wanted anything but an emotionally supportive relationship. not things. and stuff. just that. and they said maybe we’ll try to get it right.
and i’m hoping so much that we will. but i feel this sinking feeling in my chest, and i kind of know… i just know… that it will never change. our relationship will be cold and distant and misunderstood. always. perpetually.
